- Don’t tone police. It is NOT your right to dictate how someone should react to their oppression.
- Don’t demand a detailed explanation. You’re basically asking the person to justify their call out. It’s exhausting, many resources are available, and often this is just a way to try and derail, start an argument, or discredit the other person.
- Don’t get defensive. A call out is not all about you as a person.
- Don’t take it personally. Calling out is not a personal attack. If someone calls you out, they’re trying to teach you something. Calling out is a way for people to educate others on how systems of oppression operate on a day to day, individual level.
- Don’t attack the person who’s calling you out. That’s just fucked up.
- Don’t assume the person calling you out is just “looking to get offended”. Nobody enjoys calling other people out. To call someone out, people often have to mentally prepare for serious repercussions. Calling someone out might mean starting an argument, during which many people will side with the oppressor by default (especially if you’re privileged over the person calling you out).
- Understand that being oppressive is not the same as being offensive or hurting feelings. The damage you’re perpetuating is part of a larger system of oppression.
- Realize that your intent is irrelevant when it comes to whether you were oppressive or not.
- Recognize the power dynamics that are in place between you and the person calling you out.
- Understand intersectionality. IE: Just because you are oppressed by classism, doesn’t mean you lack male privilege.
- Know that being privileged means being oppressive, but you can work to reduce the ways that you are oppressive.
- Genuinely apologize.
- Work on oppression reduction and being the best ally you can be. The point of calling you out is to draw your attention to how you’re being oppressive, so that you can work to change it. If you made an oppressive joke, there’s probably oppressive thoughts in place (conscious or not) that led you to think the joke was appropriate. Everyone has to unlearn the oppressive things they’ve absorbed from an oppressive society. We are all taught ways to keep marginalized people in their place, but the good thing is that we can identify these things in ourselves and change. And then we can start working on dismantling the kyriarchy, yeah!
when characters you didn’t previously see as a couple do the ship thing to your heart
A twitter friend is looking to help out a friend of her own who just recently came out to her parents. The parents are religious and are having trouble understanding that she isn’t “going through a phase” and that it’s okay to be queer. They are blaming themselves for her being queer, but luckily are still keeping her in their lives.
We’re looking for any books or videos that can help this girl and her parents come to an understanding. Since my parents and I don’t really discuss my own coming out, I really don’t have any resources. Can you guys help?
i’ve been thinking about all those posts about “we need female heroes who do girly things”/”why is the female hero always such a tomboy” and then the response posts that are like “uhhh actually we don’t really have any really masculine female heroes either” so i was trying to figure it out—what do we have, exactly?
and really what we get is women who eschew “girly” things while still managing to look like society’s ideal woman. they would never touch eyeliner (they’re too busy with Important Things), but their eyeliner is immaculate. they have a huge, varied wardrobe, but wouldn’t be caught dead actually shopping for clothes. and it reminds me of the expectation that women must be effortlessly beautiful. don’t wear makeup or you’ll seem self-absorbed—but god forbid you look like you’re not wearing makeup. it’s interesting to me, that the impossibilities imposed on female characters are the same ones imposed on real women.
send me those “what character u remind me of” anons this is important do it
this is very important and crucial to the existence of mankind
sned me them
It doesn’t seem dated, your attitude is dated. This is the 21st century.
Women deserve to be in STEM programs just as much as men. I’d wager they deserve to succeed in the Sciences even more than men because of the sexism and misogyny they experience.
They struggle to get in because they’re the minority, and a lot of people who could admit them are sexist (regardless of gender) because of the society they grew up in. Its not through any intellectual weakness. These women are amazing and just as smart as the men in their fields.
You have no right to say these things to these amazing women, many of whom I consider to be friends.
Wow. That seems like really fucking wrong. And offensive.
And I would love to take some more time out of my day to be pissed about it.
It seems that I have a lot of fucking science to do.
So, uh, screw that.
If anybody needs me, me and my lady bits will be getting some fucking science done.
I’m oddly excited to have been name checked by this shitty anon. Because it means that the very fact that I got into an Ivy League, top 15 science PhD program (where I fucking belong) is a giant fuck you to shitty anon. Also, shitty anons make Lewis sad. Because Lewis is a feminists science hippo.
Best way for me to deal with shitty nonnies who think women can’t do science? DO MORE SCIENCE!!!! MWAHAHAHA
Crap, I’m a woman biologist. I’d go get another career but I have a groundbreaking thesis on rapid evolution of reproductive isolation between seed beetle populations to finish.
I’m not a well-known tumblr scientist…but I am a scientist all the same. And while I could probably obtain a more gender-appropriate occupation… I’m pretty content with the fact I’m an atmospheric chemist Additionally, I am also one of the few women who have managed to be selected to intern at NASA’s airborne research program.
Do I not deserve a place in the STEM fields, anon?
Hey ladies! Mind if some physicists join in?
At the CERN visiting the CMS part of the LHC where were were working for 8 months on both computational and experimental work:
Presenting our research at a conference on Physics of Living Systems:
And visiting the Wind Tunnel experiment after presenting our research at Max Planck Institute at a Advances in Cardiac Dynamics Workshop
Oh, me? What do I do? I try to understand why superbursts happen in neutron stars! This is important because: they shouldn’t happen but they do. And the implications could be astoundingly helpful for things like, oh I don’t know, nuclear fusion.
Oh, just me, at a conference after presenting this:
"don’t belong there"?! excuse you!
Im not a science tumblr but i am a girl and a geologist so i kinda prove you wrong…?
In the Sorbas Basin finding fossilised bird trackways and fossilised rain drops
Using HCl to dissolve solnhofen plattenkalk (limestones) to make plastic copies of exceptional fossils
On board the HMS Discovery, a state of the art scientific ship which anchors at the NOC (national oceanography centre Southampton)
Doing some geological mapping and fieldwork in Ingleton Yorkshire
So yeh anon, you’re wrong and very very very outdated in your opinions
oh wow this anon thinks that women don’t belong in STEM—
better throw my archaeology B.A. in the trash, burn my thesis and stop teaching biology, chemistry and physics to the 8-12th grades.
SCIENCE TO DO
NO TIME FOR SEXIST MAN CHILD ANONS
oh I guess I should burn the cheque I got for guest lecturing in grad school too—
Sorry, no time to answer douchey anon. To busy getting paid handsomely to do research things like this
While dressed fabulously like this
Because unlike the bullshit movies would tell you, geologists don’t wear white lab coats. Something to do with all that dirt.
I’d tell my grad school and all the funding bodies that gave me a fellowship and research grants that they were totally mistaken because girls don’t science well except OOPS ALREADY GOT MY MS IN GEOLOGY, TOO LATE.
Well darn. Guess I better just get back to doing science instead.